Caoimhe (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cagetheshadows) wrote2015-04-04 08:23 pm
cagetheshadows) wrote2015-04-04 08:23 pm
March 19, 633 AR
[Kilian]
We didn't even sleep last night.
We stayed up all night, talking about Sibeal. Talking about what it's been like for them, to -- to have known all these years and never be able to speak. It wasn't like it was for Iseult, where she'd sometimes catch her mother about to speak, or --
They told me about how it was for them. We had a fight about it, on my thirteenth birthday. Do you all remember? I screamed at them that they needed to remember it was Sibeal's birthday, too, and they needed to stop pretending otherwise. Do you remember, Coinin? I came to your house for the rest of the day, because I couldn't stand being there for another minute. They said the moment I left, they just stared at each other, helpless. But they couldn't even talk to each other about it. They couldn't even tell each other that they know who I was talking about, that they remembered ...
Their fault, they said. They were overwhelmed and maybe if they'd tried harder, she wouldn't have been taken away. For years they've sat there not even able to talk to each other about how much they blamed themselves for it. Not even capable of alluding to her. Acknowledging her.
All night, we stayed up. Just talking. Just ... sharing memories. Wondering if she was still ...
I should probably sleep. But I'm still not even tired.
We didn't even sleep last night.
We stayed up all night, talking about Sibeal. Talking about what it's been like for them, to -- to have known all these years and never be able to speak. It wasn't like it was for Iseult, where she'd sometimes catch her mother about to speak, or --
They told me about how it was for them. We had a fight about it, on my thirteenth birthday. Do you all remember? I screamed at them that they needed to remember it was Sibeal's birthday, too, and they needed to stop pretending otherwise. Do you remember, Coinin? I came to your house for the rest of the day, because I couldn't stand being there for another minute. They said the moment I left, they just stared at each other, helpless. But they couldn't even talk to each other about it. They couldn't even tell each other that they know who I was talking about, that they remembered ...
Their fault, they said. They were overwhelmed and maybe if they'd tried harder, she wouldn't have been taken away. For years they've sat there not even able to talk to each other about how much they blamed themselves for it. Not even capable of alluding to her. Acknowledging her.
All night, we stayed up. Just talking. Just ... sharing memories. Wondering if she was still ...
I should probably sleep. But I'm still not even tired.